Mother’s Day With Added Effort

As I write this, it will be Mother’s Day tomorrow in the UK. Today Small and his Dad went shopping to choose me a gift and it got me thinking.

Being in a crowded shop is incredibly stressful and tiring for Small. The lights are too bright, people are jostling him and making noise, the tannoy hurts his ears, there are too many sights and sounds and smells.

As a result, Small avoids shops whenever possible. On a good day he might come in and sit on my lap in my wheelchair, or poke around a charity shop, but usually the suggestion that he come shopping is met with panic and tears. We don’t force him, because I believe that is counterproductive. I know that he can do it when he is in the right frame of mind and the motivation is great enough, but why cause such upset when I could just order online?

The reason I mention this is because it means even more to me that he went into at least one shop to choose gifts for me, because I know how hard it would have been for him. The fact that he gritted his teeth and tolerated all that sensory input just for me, is truly amazing.

I am a very lucky mum.

Trust…

Over the last few months of 2014, Small became reluctant to go to meet ups or to leave the house. He wasn’t enthused by the idea of playdates, walks to the park or home ed groups. He did lots of crafts, building robots and doing science experiments. Despite a little cabin fever on my part, we tried to honour his need to hibernate.

It’s now February, and he has suddenly developed a desire to be social outside of immediate family. Last week we were out almost every day and this coming week looks like it will be just as busy. I am acting as his social secretary, trying to fit in playdates with all the friends he wants to see and still leave days free for his favourite home ed meets.

It has reminded me that Small knows what he needs, whether it is to stay at home, to be out everyday or a combination of the two.

I should have known. Like everything else in autonomous education it comes back to trust. Trust that he knows what he needs, and trust that it will all work out ok in the end.

Starting to Deal With Sensory Integration Disorder

Small’s Occupational Therapist agrees that his sensory integration disorder is severely impacting all areas of his life, possibly to a greater extent than we had realised. Part of supporting him to manage it himself as he gets older is for me to be very aware of when he shows signs of being over stimulated and to implement different strategies until we find what helps calm him.

This evening, Small desperately wanted me to unlock some levels on a WiiU game but I could see that he was showing signs of being overwhelmed – his voice got louder, he was jumping and flapping, starting to tend towards aggression. I tentatively suggested that he could have his weighted blanket over his lap while he sat on the sofa, expecting him to refuse, but he agreed. And it helped. And he realised that it helped!

However he wanted to continue using it while he moved around, which is obviously not practical. I have seen weighted vests but, as with most sensory tools, they are ridiculously expensive. I’m going to investigate making one myself, like I did with his weighted blanket.

The other tool that has been brilliant at calming him from a over-stimulated state is the trapeze we set up, which hangs from a chin up bar in a doorway. Our Occupational Therapist suggested a nest swing or hammock swing, which I have been lusting over in Ikea for a long time, but living in a rented house means we can’t screw it into the beams, so I have ordered a small hammock and I am going to perform some sort of bodge job to attach it to a chin up bar too.

We already have plans to turn Small’s bedroom into a sensory area with bubble tubes and glowing lights, but it will need to be gradual as any big changes are stressful for him.

For now we need to focus on this aspect of his life, which may mean that our house looks random and untidy because it is filled with sensory equipment. But it is a price we will willingly pay for Small’s wellbeing.